The Needy

Celia shared with me of a dad who has to ask for basic needs from others.

Oh how the Holy Spirit has soften us so much, and pushes us to love His creation..

Lord, if You are willing, use me to help them. If I'm ever rich Lord, remind me to bless those in need. I know You know that, I'm not ready for big wealths yet, but I really want to help those families. You love eVry child, and there are children suffering everyday.. Use me to help You.. Teach me to help them...

It is my dream, that if one day, i'm ever rich, i'll build a condo for the needy, not collecting rent, giving them food and NTUC vouchers, help them get jobs, start their own business. That condo will be called, "Cloudy Heights". As you can see from the picture (a lovely gift i got from my best friendl, its a dream forming :)

Am i ready (pt2)?

Attended a wedding of my ex crush... I think it has been about 9 or 10 years since..

I guessed it takes that long..

At each wedding, i kept asking myself,

Am I ready to see you walk down that asle with ur dad?

Am I ready to hear you say "I do" to your partner?

Am I ready to bless you wholeheartedly and lift up my cup to cheer you on?

I think I need a proper 10 years from now..

I"m still praying for you. There will be someone who will love you, lots more than I ever did.

Am I ready?

Thank God for granting speed in reading and understanding these days.. In less than a week, i finished reading about 5 or 6 novels... The last one being "The Rapture: In a twinkling of an eye" by Tim Lahaye. I've also finished "The Jesus Chronicles" series, by the same author..

"The Rapture" gave me a grave reminder of Jesus coming back again, as well as the judgement for saints... How each saint presented themselves before Jesus, and watched, as their works were tested through fire.Time wasted were burnt away like hay, wood and stubble.. Things done for the glory of God came out as gold and precious stones.

I've read it in scriptures, but somehow reading in through a story, impresses more on me.. Have i wasted more time?

I am excited about Jesus coming back again, yet at the same time, i am nt sure if I had done enuf...

"The Jesus chronicles" reminded me to be grateful and appreciative of the bible I have... I broke down in tears to see what some of the apostles have to go through..

I miss you, my friend.. What we choose to do, is right in His eye, though it hurts, still hurts.. Hang on to Him, keep your eyes on Him, He'll lead you through.
Truth is, i will parish someday. Cant be here forever, but where we're heading.. That's eternity... A right fellowship with Jesus in heaven, forever.. :)

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Finally...

Yesterday i finally

took up the courage to ask the Lord to bless her with a partner who will love God and her.. Someone who can be thrice better than me.. Someone who can love her officially.

Been praying for my own partner... Come what may, Lord.. You have every right ro my life, I know You'll give me the one I need to walk with me till I die..

Just wonders... how long more before I stop hurting....

Anyway, this really sweet picture of Ezekiel and Isaiah reminds me of my love for my best friend..

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In my Potter's hands

this is how i know im at the right church...

During the worship, pastor laura said,
"as i worshipped, i saw a jar broken in pieces. A hand came and placed those pieces together. there were still cracks around, but as the hand goed over, these cracks heal. So i think God wants me to say, bring to Me your brokeness, your disappoinments, and I will heal you."

Thank You Lord.. Thank You..

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Nowhere but up

Sometimes I feel trapped in a world filled with selfish liars and cheaters... Even people of the same faith.

I felt this is a year, i've tripped so many times over those stumbling blocks, landed on my face and ate dust, sometimes shit..

Sometimes I simply got so tired getting up, i just wanna lie there till Jesus comes...

Sometimes i just wanna roll over to the broad way, and back to my old life.. But that thought is revolting, disgusting and not to mention unhealthy.

so i'll roll to my back, with my body covered with dust, dirt and some shits, the only way left to look is up...

Haven look at the sky in a long time...

Its funny how some wounds cut so deep, they never heal.. or maybe thats just cause im diabetic..

nonetheless, im tired.... really awfully tired.....

I know im only accountable for myself at the end of the day...

but i'm just so tired....

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Loving things more than God

when we love certain things more than we love God, we're most likely to mistreat anyone who comes in our way....

no wonder i feel this way...

Thank God for a faithful friend in Jesus, one who never fails, one who never leaves you behind....

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How to be a good friend?

John 15:12-13 NLT

This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

In this world of selfishness and irresponsibilities, my prayer for all is that we'll be that friend(as above) that Jesus talks about to others, despite the fact, they probably would never do that for you.

We're accountable to God for our actions, not of others.

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Looking into His heart

This picture is drawn by Isaiah, 6, my nephew.. And he gladly took advice from me to include the verse, requested for Book of Isaiah though..

This was fun, gonna do it with him again soon...

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My dream funeral

Ya, i knw its weird, im weird, so live with it...

The only i will plan to have is my funeral.

First of all, i must have a bouncy castle next to my casket. Because my children will probably tag along with their parents, and they would probably be bored so.. there you go..

Next, i want every picture of clouds that i've taken to be printed and posted as background.. dont wanna thr boring white ones..

Then, all my personal belongings to be brought out, and anyone can take anything they like..

My testimony to be printed out and given..

The only book for my family is thr one im working on called, "Cynthia's wisdom book"... It contains my personal messages to my loved ones, and also topical passages that speaks to me..

Will add more when i think about it..

Oh, last but not least, if i die before my mum did, pls do not cry in front of her... she hates people who cry.. to her, it means that u have been wasting time living in regret where things could and should have been done while im still alive..

And if i really do die before her, pls repeat the gospel to her.. thanks guys..

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At the end of the day...

The Lord asked me,
"Have you love Me with all your heart, mind, soul and strength?"

"Did you love your neighbours like yourself?"

I try my best Father.. It gets so tiring.. I kept making mistakes, i'm weak..

He says,
"My grace is sufficient for you, my strength made perfect in your weakness"

At the end of the day, how others treated you, no matter how mean they've been, it doesn't mean you have the right to do the same.

Coz God looks at me, what i've done, what i've said, how i've felt, etc...

For those who tore me down, and still trying to do so, yaa it hurts really bad.. its been more than 6 months, but i still feel triangle... But we each have our own explaining to do,

R u ready to meet ur maker?

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Child of God

I always enjoyed looking at people while they sleep.. There's so much joy and peace written on their faces...

Here's Ezekiel, drifting off to sleep on his own.. Would love to see it myself, but had to work..

I missed my family easy.. this reminds me of how much God's looking at me too.. How much He desires a good time of fellowship.

I could never write enough to show the extend of my appreciation, the best i can do, is to live my life to please Him...

In His eyes, we're all His children..

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Hmmm...

Galatians 5:22-23 NLT

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

Can a person really be saved, if the fruit of  his or her decisions made, doesnt produce the fruits of the Spirit?

I was angry, that someone older seemed to still hate me.... but  realised quickly, that was a fruit of the world, not of God's..

It has turned into prayer of blessings for her,

because if i die  and see God tomorrow, I will be able to say,

I lived my life according to Your Word...

Seriously people,

"How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” ( James 4:14-15 NLT)

playing my cello in public for the first time this sat!! excited!

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Cost Accounting

I wonder how many people ~~>

1) indulge in funand games alone, and gave up massaging a grandmother in pain?

2) focused all day with their work/ study and gave up time with family

3) spent time dolling themselves up infront of a mirror, and ignore the needs of their child

4) rather read other books and gossip, and gave up reading the bible and telling others about lovely Jesus...

We could gain high scores,
we could gain a few promotions or Aces,
we could look real pretty,
and sound really knowledgable..

BUT
one day, any day, someone close will die,
only then, till then, will you regret not spending time doing the simplest thing?

One day, some days, someone close will die,
only then, till then, will you regret for not spending time, showing them you cared and how much you loved them?

One day, eventually, our faces will have wrinkles, we start walking funny. Till then, your child is busy dolling up in front of the mirror, burying himself in books, fun and games.. Is it now, too late to even regret,
I should have spent more time with my family?

One day, sooner or later, our time would end, and we face our Maker, He asked us to give an account of our lives...

Will you be ready?

If we fail an exam, we can retake.
If we fail on a level of a game, we can try again later.
If we are unhappy, we can talk to God.

But time lost, we can never gain back.

This is written by someone who had to learn the hard way, after wasting 7 years in bondage to indulging in sin, having people.closest to me passing on without knowing Christ...

Did we really weigh the cost of our decisions we made?

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I really admire....

who know when they are going to die... Well, they really must have known right? coz by the amount of time they wasted doing stupid things, i guess they know what they're doing...

Ephesians 5:15-16 NLT

So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise.
Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days.

Unfortunately for me, i guess i dont knw when i will die.. so i choose to live each moment, as much as i can, to God's glory, loving my family, my friends, doing my job as God call.

I hope I can account for all i've done when I finally see Him.. Im not as steady as most people are..

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Haze, haze go away...

i've been coughing for..... 3 weeks.... ahhhh...

coughing.in the day,

wheezing at night.... grrrr

i wanna be well..... argghhh

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For granted

Do everyone has to suffer losses, before they realised they have taken things/ time/ people for granted?

I wonder why God made me go through so much, but when i try to advise people (who are digging their own graves), they end up still not listening..

Then i go through for what lei.......

sigh.. Life's tiring.. I'm quite tired of caring for others, but i cant stop..

The only day i stop is when i die.. only then my physical eyes will close, and my spiritual eyes will only look up to Jesus..

I need more strength loving children in my care...

Heeellppp...

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Relationship

Today I just felt like tagging along to tracting with the others.

It was fun, i got to pair up with a close friend, and she gave a few pointers on how to present the tracts so they will take.

Not only that, i guess being cheerful and smilng a lot helps.

We then proceeded to.a.nearby coffeshop to have light snacks.. At my table, there is an.uncle, dad of a friend of my, who is suffering from dementia. It touches my heart to see the young adults who spent time talking to him.

I dont understand the.condition, so i wont be giving any advice.

I noticed how others.kept asking him questions to keep reminding him of what he remembers..

I then asked if someone would forget about their salvation.. He said yes. Then I said, perhaps we should be reminding uncle of who Jesus is, and what He did. Our names wont save, names of fruits, objects wont save, only Jesus does.

Humans will fail, Jesus wont. It saddens me, when uncle mentions his doctor dont wants to talk to him. I guess the doc has his own issues that he has to handlr but uncle didnt knw of.

However, I'm glad the young.adults quickly asked him to share about his testimony, and if he remembers who Jesus is. It took quite some effort, im glad he could remember an I'm thankful to God for that.

Later, I went to the Library, and picked up a book on Jesus.. Got reminded that we are able to love, because He first loves us.

Without Him, what should all of us look forward to?

I cant imagine living entirely by my own strength in this life, it's impossible.

I thank God for giving Jesus,
He's my friend,
my teacher,
my mentor,
my Mastor,
my Saviour..

Before I knew Him, He has already knew me!

Imagine that?

The King of kings knows my name.. How important I am to Him.

God is good, amen!

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Broken homes, Heaven hopes

It's so sad to see teachers minding their own business and not care to find out bout family backgrounds.

Any child who hits, shouts or behaves wrongly is immediately labeled as naughty, hopeless, ill-disciplined..

No one wants to know, or try to know how this child really feels..

No wants to find out how the child goes through those dreadful nights.

It breaks my heart when i'm asked why i scared my child when I told him, u have the choice not to fight and quarrel like ur parents did. Jesus loves you, and I love you too..

I'm lectured for using myself as an example...

Seriously? U weren't there seeing how dreadful and horrifying those nights were. You weren't there when my dad grabbed my mum's head and knocked it repeatedly against the sharp edges.

You weren't know who angry I felt, to the extend of getting a knife, with only one wish to end dad's life. And I was young, only 5.

If you don't understand a situation, best advice is to keep quiet.

Anyway, i'm just really glad i'm called here to teach, as i shared with my child, tears threaten to spill out....

I've forgiven, truly i have.. but those images are permenantly tattooed into my brain.

I thank God for Jesus who knew me.. who cared...

My real home has yet to come, i long to see His face. The One who cried along with me, the One who told me,

"I've got a choice to be His Child, He loves me, and He's waiting for me"

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OMG

Mandarin Worship Service 09 Sep 12
Rev Heng

There are are rules in home, office. God also has rules for His family.

1st commandment, thou shall have no other gods besides me. God knows even if you r worshipping in secret, not to uphold anyone, even yourself.

2nd commandment, thou shall not make for yourself any graven image. God is a spirit, He do not need to be represented by any statues, He's bigger than any objects, we cannot limit Him in a statue.

3rd commanment has got to do with His names. We are not to take His name in vain. He has many names, Jehoveh Jireh, even Jesus' name.

The word "vain" means for evil purpose. Cannot use His name to tell lies. How? "I swear!" Bible says let your yes be yes, and your.no be no.. we dont need to swear, no need to challenge others to swear..

vain also means empty.. sometimes children use their fathers' name in vain.. example, child using their fathersz name to access, "my father say...." In english tv, western films, they will use "OMG!"

What is require:
1) Includes His title. eg. Bruce Almighty. this is God's title. like the group name ABBA.. Abba is a dear name to address our heavenly Father. Trinity is also another title being misuse.. in films or products.

2) God's house. In the bible, church refers to body of believers. They meet in houses of believers, as numbers grew, buildings were build and set aside for worshipping..  but we should.be careful not to set human rules.. some.poorer countries have no choice but to use it as a guest house for visitors.. be careful not to use it for anything else as well.. We can worship God anywhere. some places dont even have a place for worship.. we must be careful not to be too extreme.

3) Holy communion. Some mothers gave some of the bread and wine to their  hildren to pacify them.. parents should be training
their children to respect.

some use church bulletines to gather lottery number..

some labeled thenselves as gods.. ..."

Had to leave because of my duty church...

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Being Justified by faith (2 Sep 12)

Mandarin Worship Service
justified by faith
Job 9:2 NLT

“Yes, I know all this is true in principle.
But how can a person be declared innocent in God’s sight?

Romans 5:1

Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us.

Martin Luther read Romans 1:17

This Good News tells us how God makes us right in his sight. This is accomplished from start to finish by faith. As the Scriptures say, “It is through faith that a righteous person has life.”
and was convicted in his heart, and understand that we can be righteous by faith.

Are we sure of our salvation?
This is important because we must be sure and know where we're going...

In Romans 5:1,
Justification is the work of God, which will cause the believer to be convicted that he had sins, and repent and put his faith in Christ's work.

When we accepted Christ, God unconditionally accepts us as righteous. Its a one time offer, and not repeated or over a period of time, nor based on the number of good works.

Being justified by faith is equal to all believers. It doesnt mean a pastor or elder has more righteousness, every believer is sinner saved by faith.

After being justified, its for eternal, it doesnt mean that 2mr when i sinned, i'll lose my salvation..

being justified doesnt equal to reborn. Reborn gives a new life, being justified gives us a status as children of God.

we still have sinful nature in us,
therefore we have to walk closely with God, lest we be tempted to sin.

It is our blessing to.be justified by faith.. The devil would often would accuse us of not "working our faith", or our relatives or friends would do the same, we must remember, God will say, you are already justified by faith when you first believed and accepted Jesus Christ's work of salvation.

Once a person is truly saved, the Holy Spirit will guide us NOT TO SIN...

How did God justify us, sinners?

it doesnt mean closing both His eyes while we sin, but He's always watching.
Itzs by his Grace we are justified.

Romans 3:24 NLT

Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.
﹏﹏

had to leave for lunch duty, gues  the message is cleared enough.. God bless!

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B-I-C-Y-C-L-E

This has been my faithful companion to work.. thanks to the wonderful inventions of gears on mountain bikes, i could ride quite smoothly from home to work, and vice versa..

had to be careful at traffic junctions though, almost got knock down while crossing the zebra.crossing...

anyway, it takes me about 30 to work, and 40 min to home.. reason being, im awfully tired after work, and the paths goes uphill towards home..

But it has helped me sleep better at night, so i honestly have no complain..

till next time!

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Platypus Family Kitchen @ Bukit Timah Plaza

any type of salad i had eaten so far, had never ever left an impression on me.. But st this  clean, modest restaurant, their garden salad simply blew me away...

No other food had done that since IKEA's meatball.. and for their speghettis (pardon my spelling), you can always order half sizes if you cant finish everything..

Please go try people! It is simply wonderful!
Their staff are friendly too!

I'm coming back soooooon!!! remember! its at bukit timah plaza level 2, last order of dinner at 7:10.. they were nice enough to waited when we were there later..

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Please help me...

Proverbs 26:11 NLT

As a dog returns to its vomit,
so a fool repeats his foolishness.

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原来

我是那个最令人讨厌的。。
看来，生病的时候，不能受刺激。。。
只想回家。。。。。 妈妈说过，人，最大的敌人，是自己。

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Does anybody hears her?

If you're like the girl in the video, i know how you feel..

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sometimes

its just easier to disappear...
at least people wont be affected ..

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What it takes

What exactly does it take for me to move on?

The mire i realise time is precious, the more i felt like fighting for my dream.

When can i go home? 142...

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Appreciation

itzs amazing how little people.appreciate nowadays, that eventually, they have to set aside a.day for it... sigh.. serioualy...

tell me, when exactly do you or will you know you still have time in your hands ro simply hold grudges against somebody, or make lame stupid comments, after somrone made the effort to help when you fail to communicate properly...

honestly, i wish im back home now then be here.. coz doing and following God's way can be sooooo tiring.. and its just "encouraging" how you see people of the same faith "follows" it properly, even though they believed for so long....

sigh... will i be like this? Coz i dont want to... i will live my life with no regrets. i dont want to be like Old testament characters, most of the times they complained without remembering all the blessings they already received..

im tired.... really tired... Lord pls bring me home...

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Thou shall not kill

is exercising extremely considered killing yourself?

anyway, went to ice skate... think now i'll rollerblade..

one day i'll fly around the ice rink..

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These miss you nights

are the longest...

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Mob flash

can someone please explain to me the purpose of mob flashing?

today j-cube has a mobflash by NUS (dont knw from where).. here are my views

1) after giving people a heart attack and ringing in their ears, least you could do is patronise the shops.

2) i admire your volume (both in numbers and noise), but just thank God no babies were around to be in shock.

3) i admire your togetherness and passion, perhaps you could put this amount of passions to cancer patients, elderly, orphans?

4) what exactly does this prove because i thinl it just means you have plenty of time beside studying. cool! now i wanna go NUS too.

5) whats the meaning of all these when you could be spending quality time with your family...

Life's short, and i think this is just a waste of time...

when you die, nobody gonna remember you were a mob flasher.. What are the footsteps you left behind?

to me, a mob flash sounds more like a mindless riot..

perhaps this is just my views, someone pls show me the purpose  of it.. thanks

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Special days

Today our church young adult fellowship has a sistrrs' apprrciation night. this is the day where guys from yaf planned and prepared menu and programmes. and then treat the ladies to a day of special treatment.

some asked me why i dont join.
2 reasons.
Firstly, i need to bring my niece to childrens and junior fellwoship.

secondly, i dont believe in spending only one day for anything...

everyday should be mothers' day,
everyday should.be fathers' day
everyday should be easter
everyday should be christmas.

its my own pov. because i have witness how people mistreated one another for 364 days, and only that one day of nice treatment. hmmm..

well, i choose to live my life in remembrance and appreciation of what the Lord has done for me, what my mum did to raise me.up, how my sisters contribute and loved me, how the children im teaching are always.precious and lovely, how my nieces, nephews and grandnephews are gifts from God to me, EVERY SINGLE DAY...

Life's short, i wont always have ONE SINGLE DAY to treat others "nicely"

i choose to do it everyday.

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Sin and forgivenes

John 15:16 ()

16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. #Bible http://j.mp/tp1fGM

had a crazy week... i was angry with God.for allowing certain things to happen to me. i kept harbouring the thought that He planned or put so much pain in my path! i felt He did it on purpose even though i was so sincere when i came back to Him 5 years ago. and y r the Christians around who need to be taught a lesson not suffering?!?!

i refused to talk to Him. Yet, our Mighty, Powerful, Self-Sufficient God still didnt give up on me. One week later, He sent someone to talk and reminded me. and that afternoon, I only said, im sorry im still so stubborn and stupid, cherishing that sin that You [God] dislike, pls forgive me. Immediately, i felt at ease. i was no longer angry, and i apologized to those whom I have stumbled or hurt.

This morning, He greeted me with this verse.

I am special, not because of what I can do, but because

He chose me even before the created the world.

the cutest thing was, my niece and nephews just had lots of questions about Jesus this week. I found myself, telling them how great and wonderful Jesus is, how much He loves sinners, and i do believe, God used my love for my niece and nephews to remind me (reminded by friend) that He loved me first.

i used to be the only.Christian in the family, but God did use me as a testimony and my sister is becomming more serious with God, and now the children. and the funny thing was, all these while, all that i showed was my vunerabilty, my weakness, i guess Paul was right when he said we should boast our weakness because only then, Jesus will shine.

sorry for such a long text.

Have a God loved and blessed day!

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Doubts....

did He plan all this?

do i really have so much lessons to learn?

just having doubts.... Im sure He knws too..

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家

在这谎言满地的世界里， 我只想回家。 好累。。。

Lonely

No one is meant to be alone.
Somewhere out there,
tonight,
there might just be someone like me.
Alone.

If there's someone who tells you
live on your own,
it's better, it's freedom,
that person is lying.

Coz if one day,
you are in real deep hurt,
and you come back home,
your footsteps echo through
the empty rooms,
that's when you need somebody.

Same time, same places,
a simple good night wish,
can caused tears
you thought were gone..

原来, 已经拥有...

已经被爱,

却不知道.

不知该笑,

还是哭.

但也让我明了,

"神先爱我们"

的意义.

Miracles

Jesus said, "Go forth!" and we did.
Not knowing where we were heading, 
we met a few barriers.
We were quite discouraged.
Sat down and prayed.
"Just sent someone to us!"
Constantly keeping God's Word in my mind, 
singing praises to Him,
we pressed on..

And on the far end, 
Another family was in distress. 
Calling out to Him,
"Just sent someone to us!"

Then, 
we met.

God is sovereign, He is our Shepherd,
He is Faithful..


I was always afraid of evangelising.. But these two weeks was simply amazing... 


GOD IS AMAZING!


Yes, He did keep His promise.. He told us to share and we did, and He was there, like He promised.. 


Ahhh.. Pray, pray....

Many things about tomorrow,

I don't seem to understand.

But I know who holds tomorrow

and I know 

who holds my hand.

Picture memories

2 Timothy 2:22
Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.


I am grateful and thankful to God for friends who recognise my learning needs and adjust to it, kinda strengthen what i have been learning in school, intergrating people with needs.. Yes I know the picture looks childish, but hey, I can remember what the verse says, and where it came from instead of the usual, "Er, its one of Paul's letters" haha.. 

Sometimes I find that people often fails to see what other needs. Either that or they think the whole world sees like how they do. Did you really consider if anyone in your group can adjust to your plans, did you find time to know those who are following you, or are you caught up with the "I can do it, so can you" attitude?

I am so glad God called me to be an Early Childhood Educator. When a child so call misbehaves, we do not label the child as naughty, mischievous but instead, we questioned ourselves, "What does this child need?" Oftentimes, we were quick to judge and blame it on the parents or even the child themselves, but haha, guess what, sometimes its the teachers' fault! 

Whenever someone disappear, appears to be loud, appears to be rude, appear to be negative, these are people calling for help without even them knowing it. They are in need of something, someone to help them. 

We're all different, and I am so glad, Jesus knows us to the very core. I do know what my gifts are, and I know being an Evangelist is not one of them. I do share my testimony but not set numeric goals in X number of years. I am a vessel for God's use, if He wants me to share, I share. If He calls me somewhere else, I go.

For the record, the bible never states any apostles setting numeric goals in X number of years. They go where God wants them to go. It is the love from God and the love for God that pushes them. Not marketing strategies or whatsoever. 

Do not coporatized (if there's such a word) God's work. He's the CEO, not any of us.

So people, if you love God and remember what He did for you at Calvary, automatically you will share.. 

If you haven been sharing, well.. It is my prayer that you will remember what and how Jesus came to die for you and me. 

God blesses and loves.  

 208 days

143

30+31+30+31+31+30+31= 204, 000 years.....

sigh.........

神是爱 God is love (Part 2)

Yes! It is completed! Thank God for HIs wisdom.. Inspiration for lyrics and arrangement came last night as I was walking back after the Maundy Thursday service..

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow
Because He loves, I can live forever in Heaven
What did I remember about Good Friday?
The Almighty King who hung on the cross
for a nobody like me..

Here it is >>> click here!

神是爱

Writing a new song.. My first after i thought I could never write again.. Still working on it.. But here's the half of first verse, plus chorus and 2nd verse.Im sorry if the translation seems weird.. There's a reason why I wrote it in Chinese in the first place. Probably gonna focus on writing chinese, seems to be easier on people's ears.. Heh..

1st Verse
朋友笑我傻
My friends mocked me
不会留着她
for not asking her to stay
祢也是傻吗
Are You (Jesus) silly too
离开了天家
left Your heavenly home
为我这无名者
for me, a nobody
钉在十架
to die on the cross

Chorus:
这时爱
This is love
神是爱
God is love
因祂的救恩
Because of His salvation
我得永生
I get eternal life
完美救主
Blameless Saviour
全能的王
Almighty King
只要相信
Only believe
就能进天堂
and you can enter Heaven
你迷失了吗
Are you lost
失望了吗
Are you disappointed
将你的苦恼
Leave your troubles
放在祂手中
in His hands
让祂的光
Let His light
成你的希望
become your home
只要悔改
Repent
就能见到祂
and you will see Him

2nd Verse
有时会失落
There are disheartening times
有时会失望
There are disappointing times
但有了祂
But with Him
不在惧怕
I no longer fear
突然苦难都变眇小
suddenly all my troubles seem so small
(Chorus)

Any suggestions for 2nd part of verse one is welcome...

WeTopia

Been playing this game on facebook. I hope whoever has a facebook would give it a try because it really DOES help children who has need all over the world. In fact, the only reason why i am back on facebook is to play this game.. Busy saving the world now!.. La la la

300 years

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143, 42...

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开始了

开始习惯一个人生活，

一个人慢步走过熟悉的道路，

一个人， 孤单的守在电话边。

有人说，

“世上最远的距离，是明知彼此相爱，

却不能爱。”

这‘现在’的牺牲，是‘未来’在天国的幸福。。。

Thank You Jesus, for being with us.....

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Valleys and Shadows of death

how many times was I broken?

how many more times must I be broken?

I am looking forward to the day, where i will read this post, point at it and laughed..

Jesus, You are my shepherd... am i the only black sheep that needs so much of these?

Help me pls.. pls.. pls..

Thy rod and Thy staff, they will comfort me.....

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Reconciliation

^"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." - Romans 8:28 

I'm super grateful to God for bringing us through this week.... It's been the craziest ever.. But we stood firm, on the Word of God. And yes, Jesus calmed the storm. We're at peace.. 

Sorry God, if i had failed to put You first, thank You for reminding me.

Thank You Lord for granting people to help us. 

Thank You for loving us, the imperfect ones.

May the following days of our friendship be glorifying to You alone, and edifying to us. May You used us richly for Your kingdom sake..  

Who are we?

that You would be mindful of us?

what do You see, thats worth looking our way?

~MercyMe: God with us~

Jesus said, Blessed are those who mourned, for they shall be comforted..

we are mourning the fact that we're imperfect, and we need Jesus here...

Sorry Jesus.. In our thoughts and actions, we've let You down.

Yet You never gave up on us. Thank You...

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Choices

in life, there are many choices to be made.

i finally got what i wanted..

i found someone who loved me as much as i do for her.

yes... a "her"..

and what was the choice we made?

we decide to remain as friends. as easygoing as i may sound now, it is not so..

we cant sleep, lost our appetite.. my colleagues and even students noticed the changed.

yet, we chose this road. not because we have nothing better else to do, but because it is the right thing.

im not good with words.. i cant describe how tormenting it felt, how ripped my heart is.. i would say, its the same for her..

yet.. im grateful for this "dream" come true, i never knew someone would or could love me this way.

we'll be friends, as long as God's willing.

are u in love with the same sex? the world's gonna tell u its ok, follow ur heart..

my friend, will u be that Christian that says, "no, i will follow God's Word..."

Jesus is here with me now.. He was here, watching me screamed, crying my head off.. He was here watching my tears flowed non stop..

the worldly love songs did filled my head... but Jesus' Word came through,

"My grace is sufficient for you, my strength made perfect in your weakness"

if i really loved her, then forever at the mansion on the streets of gold sounds so much more better..

i cant tell you how long it'll take to,recover from this, but i cant tell u for sure, Jesus is here with me..

"no, no life's not an easy road"

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confused

never knew i was loved that very way i wanted.

when i finally knew, it was the end.

honestly, im thankful to God. someone on earth do love me that way.

guessed it hurts so much because Jesus, both of us chose to love You even more..

help us..

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broken

learn in Romans 8:28 that things work out according to God's plan to those who believe, are called..

well God... by far.. im very broken in all areas.. i hope U'll work something soon.. coz i cant take it much longer...

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Love like a fool?

If there's one thing my mum constantly nagged me for, it'll be

"You're a fool for letting people take advantage of you!!!"

Yes, i am. Sometimes to the extent of being mocked, ignored, laughed at..

Jesus said, "If your enemies slap you on the cheek, turn the other cheek.. If he asks u to carry for a mile, carry for 2.."

If so much is expected to be done for our enemies, what more our friends, colleagues, classmates, family members?

Just a thought..

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Inspiration

This week was a week of decisions.

I have to decide whether to change project group in school, decide whether to stay on the track i've planned for work, decide whether to go back to the church's fellowship group..

As my life revolves mainly around church, work, school and home.. These are considered rather big decisions for me. Let me elaborate more on each item..

~ Work ~
As much as I am in love with my job and the children in school, I am more often than not, pushed, run over, bull dozed by colleagues' words of discouragement. Yes, I have choose to advocate what my lecturers had planted in my head. I advocate for more free play and giving children the liberty to choose, the liberty to voice their opinion, the liberty to be who they are.  Many disagreed with me at work, but my children's progress is evident.

Without much directions from the teacher (yours truly), my children had learn to organize sitting arrangement, sorting, math, science concepts, most importantly, social skills, during free play. Previously i insisted that they be in groups even before I met them, and i realized, they are not together socially. They DIDN'T grow socially.. It took them more than 9 months, before they engaged in cooperative/ group play. This time round, it took them, including my special need boy, less than 2 weeks. Question?

Previously, I forced my children to colour endless, boring, worksheets from the very beginning, in the end, my children and I hardly get to talk, I thought I know them, but sadly, no. This term I am determine to focus on social/ emotional and language development, now my children are communicating with me confidently.

I am physically, emotionally and mentally drained. Yet, the children's smiles and progress inspires and energized me. I WILL continue to do, what the Lord has called me to.

~School~
I love what I am learning, and how I apply it to my work (with the on-crashing waves of opposition). The thing i dread to do in school are the group assignment. Most of the time, it feels more like an individual project.

I wont even mention the excuses the others give but hey, look at me, I have a family, I have work, I have a life too.

I am also physically, emotionally and mentally drained. Yet, what I learn and applied to work gain children's smiles, that inspires and energized me. I WILL continue to do, what the Lord has called me to.

~Church~
I have been even more stumbled and discouraged in the fellowship of other christians. So much so that I, became one of those who discouraged others. Thus, I WILL continue to do, what the Lord has called me to do. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why all that decisions?

Been reading "Life without limits" by Nick Vujicic, and compared to him, my circumstances are like the bacteria on a cockroach legs. His book inspired me and here is a little quote from his book. The attitude one should adopt for a better life!

" Pick A 'Tude


1. An attitude of gratitude
2. An attitude of action
3. An attitude of empathy
4. An attitude of forgiveness. "

Vujicic, N., J.. (2010) Life without limits. New York: Doubleday Religion.

I would say I am learning and practising item 1 and 4.. That explains why I am STILL doing what I do.
I am thankful to God for sustaining me, for granting me wisdom to plan, organize, execute what needs to be done for three classes, and then do what needs to be done for each project work there is.

To God be the glory!

another week gone!

It was an extremely tiring but AWESOME WEEK! the bread face i planned for my class activity went extremely well, im glad even childreb who werent close to me was willing to try...

However, i dont know if i'll be emotionally ok when i move back to teban, away from my nieces and nephews... Ahhh.. Well.. Will update more when i get back.. The tons of mess i have to clear is horrifying enough.. Bleah..

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I'm ALIVE!!!!

Yes!! Just so you know!! I am alive!! hahaha.. I know I haven blogged in the longest time, that's because I am swarmed by the 101 things to do..

So thank God I am alive!! hehe..

January had been fantastic! First of all, I want to thank God for granting me wisdom to cook for my sister and take care of my nephews and niece.. If you know me well enough, I DO NOT cook unless i really feel motivated to, which usually i am not, whats more waking up at 4am everyday to cook.. hee hee.. So yes, thank God for wisdom and courage to try even different dishes. I have never been so hardworking, as in looking up recipes online and researching on nutritional values in food.. hur hur.. I am so happy that my sister liked it.

2nd of all, work has been fantastic. When i asked God for wisdom to do activities with my children, the ideas that flooded my head was overwhelming, until my assistant teacher commented that i DO NOT have 8 hands to handle.. haha!

Running between 2 classes was hectic at first, but now it is managable. I really enjoyed and loved both class. Now instead of enjoying one class-ful of hugs, I get twice! Sure there are some children still shunning me because of (let me guess) my size, but hey, they are warming up to me slowly. So PRAISE GOD!

Attending school at night was also really physically tiring, but I enjoyed each lesson, I am so happy and blessed to be able to apply what I learn immediately. My field practicum is coming soon, on the 21st and 28 March, I haven really feel anxious yet.. My coursemates are.. Hopefully I dont get influenced by them..

Oh anyway, on my birthday, I recorded a birthday dedication video (click here).. I am kind of influence to appear more on youtube.. Hmm.. I dont know.. I have one more song coming up, its more like a medley than an original though..

On a rather sad note, WIP would be taking a hiatus this year.. It seems like everyone's goal is different. Well, I will still belong to WIP as long as I am breathing. I wanted the group to present on Mission Sunday.. Instead, I will record the song and put on YOUTUBE!!

Moving on, my New Year's resolutions are going well so far, except for losing weight.. hee.. yes, I will work on that as well.. just so you know, my New Year's resolutions are

1) Read through the bible 6 times
2) Win 3 Souls to Christ
3) Talk to Jesus everyday
4) Lose 30kg

Yes, last item is currently the only one that is not moving.. Ahhhh.. I am surrounded by wonderful food..

I will update more whenever I can, if i came to school from work early.. God bless!