Happy Friendship Day

A year ago, as I was lying under the stars, i thought love was a feeling, just a feeling that could hold the broken pieces of my world.. This year, I realised, love is a person, and He loved me so dearly, even when i chose those nights to dream of a lie. He loved me so dearly, that it cost Him his life. What did I do? My God, my God, why have You NOT forsaken me? It is Your nail pierced hands and feet, that held me all along.. Thank You..

Things vs people

It occurs to me, just how many people rather spend time with things, dead things, then with family...

I wonder... How long will it takes someone to realise he had led the family wrongly, when all their children ever do is spend time away from family whenever they can.. following the example of their father...

How disappointing Lord, to see nothing is spoken of You or about You anywhere we went..

Are we only pew warmers? Are we Christians, living our lives just like You?

May You do whatever it takes to bring this family to You...

I'm tired...

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Thank you M1!

Dear M1,

Thank you so much for taking so much effort to restore the 3g network..

:)

Loser....

There will be days, where
everything you do,
or trying to help with
makes you felt like an outcast,
a loser..

It is in times like these,
I'm just so thankful
Jesus loves me
the way I am..

And i can hear Him say,
"My grace is sufficient for you"...

30!!

Ahhhh! Finally! I'm 30!!

hahha, honestly, i have no idea why I'm so excited... Still, thank God i'm 30...

Why God says loves others...

Like yourself..

Because we tend to be selfish, and our selfishness hurts..

If you know a friend who do not answer phone calls but rather text, would you still call?

Anyway, this is a New year.

Jesus, thank You for being true to me.

Cant wait to meet my children!! :)

The Needy

Celia shared with me of a dad who has to ask for basic needs from others.

Oh how the Holy Spirit has soften us so much, and pushes us to love His creation..

Lord, if You are willing, use me to help them. If I'm ever rich Lord, remind me to bless those in need. I know You know that, I'm not ready for big wealths yet, but I really want to help those families. You love eVry child, and there are children suffering everyday.. Use me to help You.. Teach me to help them...

It is my dream, that if one day, i'm ever rich, i'll build a condo for the needy, not collecting rent, giving them food and NTUC vouchers, help them get jobs, start their own business. That condo will be called, "Cloudy Heights". As you can see from the picture (a lovely gift i got from my best friendl, its a dream forming :)

Am i ready (pt2)?

Attended a wedding of my ex crush... I think it has been about 9 or 10 years since..

I guessed it takes that long..

At each wedding, i kept asking myself,

Am I ready to see you walk down that asle with ur dad?

Am I ready to hear you say "I do" to your partner?

Am I ready to bless you wholeheartedly and lift up my cup to cheer you on?

I think I need a proper 10 years from now..

I"m still praying for you. There will be someone who will love you, lots more than I ever did.

Am I ready?

Thank God for granting speed in reading and understanding these days.. In less than a week, i finished reading about 5 or 6 novels... The last one being "The Rapture: In a twinkling of an eye" by Tim Lahaye. I've also finished "The Jesus Chronicles" series, by the same author..

"The Rapture" gave me a grave reminder of Jesus coming back again, as well as the judgement for saints... How each saint presented themselves before Jesus, and watched, as their works were tested through fire.Time wasted were burnt away like hay, wood and stubble.. Things done for the glory of God came out as gold and precious stones.

I've read it in scriptures, but somehow reading in through a story, impresses more on me.. Have i wasted more time?

I am excited about Jesus coming back again, yet at the same time, i am nt sure if I had done enuf...

"The Jesus chronicles" reminded me to be grateful and appreciative of the bible I have... I broke down in tears to see what some of the apostles have to go through..

I miss you, my friend.. What we choose to do, is right in His eye, though it hurts, still hurts.. Hang on to Him, keep your eyes on Him, He'll lead you through.
Truth is, i will parish someday. Cant be here forever, but where we're heading.. That's eternity... A right fellowship with Jesus in heaven, forever.. :)

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Finally...

Yesterday i finally

took up the courage to ask the Lord to bless her with a partner who will love God and her.. Someone who can be thrice better than me.. Someone who can love her officially.

Been praying for my own partner... Come what may, Lord.. You have every right ro my life, I know You'll give me the one I need to walk with me till I die..

Just wonders... how long more before I stop hurting....

Anyway, this really sweet picture of Ezekiel and Isaiah reminds me of my love for my best friend..

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In my Potter's hands

this is how i know im at the right church...

During the worship, pastor laura said,
"as i worshipped, i saw a jar broken in pieces. A hand came and placed those pieces together. there were still cracks around, but as the hand goed over, these cracks heal. So i think God wants me to say, bring to Me your brokeness, your disappoinments, and I will heal you."

Thank You Lord.. Thank You..

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Nowhere but up

Sometimes I feel trapped in a world filled with selfish liars and cheaters... Even people of the same faith.

I felt this is a year, i've tripped so many times over those stumbling blocks, landed on my face and ate dust, sometimes shit..

Sometimes I simply got so tired getting up, i just wanna lie there till Jesus comes...

Sometimes i just wanna roll over to the broad way, and back to my old life.. But that thought is revolting, disgusting and not to mention unhealthy.

so i'll roll to my back, with my body covered with dust, dirt and some shits, the only way left to look is up...

Haven look at the sky in a long time...

Its funny how some wounds cut so deep, they never heal.. or maybe thats just cause im diabetic..

nonetheless, im tired.... really awfully tired.....

I know im only accountable for myself at the end of the day...

but i'm just so tired....

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Loving things more than God

when we love certain things more than we love God, we're most likely to mistreat anyone who comes in our way....

no wonder i feel this way...

Thank God for a faithful friend in Jesus, one who never fails, one who never leaves you behind....

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How to be a good friend?

John 15:12-13 NLT

This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

In this world of selfishness and irresponsibilities, my prayer for all is that we'll be that friend(as above) that Jesus talks about to others, despite the fact, they probably would never do that for you.

We're accountable to God for our actions, not of others.

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Looking into His heart

This picture is drawn by Isaiah, 6, my nephew.. And he gladly took advice from me to include the verse, requested for Book of Isaiah though..

This was fun, gonna do it with him again soon...

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My dream funeral

Ya, i knw its weird, im weird, so live with it...

The only i will plan to have is my funeral.

First of all, i must have a bouncy castle next to my casket. Because my children will probably tag along with their parents, and they would probably be bored so.. there you go..

Next, i want every picture of clouds that i've taken to be printed and posted as background.. dont wanna thr boring white ones..

Then, all my personal belongings to be brought out, and anyone can take anything they like..

My testimony to be printed out and given..

The only book for my family is thr one im working on called, "Cynthia's wisdom book"... It contains my personal messages to my loved ones, and also topical passages that speaks to me..

Will add more when i think about it..

Oh, last but not least, if i die before my mum did, pls do not cry in front of her... she hates people who cry.. to her, it means that u have been wasting time living in regret where things could and should have been done while im still alive..

And if i really do die before her, pls repeat the gospel to her.. thanks guys..

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At the end of the day...

The Lord asked me,
"Have you love Me with all your heart, mind, soul and strength?"

"Did you love your neighbours like yourself?"

I try my best Father.. It gets so tiring.. I kept making mistakes, i'm weak..

He says,
"My grace is sufficient for you, my strength made perfect in your weakness"

At the end of the day, how others treated you, no matter how mean they've been, it doesn't mean you have the right to do the same.

Coz God looks at me, what i've done, what i've said, how i've felt, etc...

For those who tore me down, and still trying to do so, yaa it hurts really bad.. its been more than 6 months, but i still feel triangle... But we each have our own explaining to do,

R u ready to meet ur maker?

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Child of God

I always enjoyed looking at people while they sleep.. There's so much joy and peace written on their faces...

Here's Ezekiel, drifting off to sleep on his own.. Would love to see it myself, but had to work..

I missed my family easy.. this reminds me of how much God's looking at me too.. How much He desires a good time of fellowship.

I could never write enough to show the extend of my appreciation, the best i can do, is to live my life to please Him...

In His eyes, we're all His children..

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Hmmm...

Galatians 5:22-23 NLT

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

Can a person really be saved, if the fruit of  his or her decisions made, doesnt produce the fruits of the Spirit?

I was angry, that someone older seemed to still hate me.... but  realised quickly, that was a fruit of the world, not of God's..

It has turned into prayer of blessings for her,

because if i die  and see God tomorrow, I will be able to say,

I lived my life according to Your Word...

Seriously people,

"How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” ( James 4:14-15 NLT)

playing my cello in public for the first time this sat!! excited!

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Cost Accounting

I wonder how many people ~~>

1) indulge in funand games alone, and gave up massaging a grandmother in pain?

2) focused all day with their work/ study and gave up time with family

3) spent time dolling themselves up infront of a mirror, and ignore the needs of their child

4) rather read other books and gossip, and gave up reading the bible and telling others about lovely Jesus...

We could gain high scores,
we could gain a few promotions or Aces,
we could look real pretty,
and sound really knowledgable..

BUT
one day, any day, someone close will die,
only then, till then, will you regret not spending time doing the simplest thing?

One day, some days, someone close will die,
only then, till then, will you regret for not spending time, showing them you cared and how much you loved them?

One day, eventually, our faces will have wrinkles, we start walking funny. Till then, your child is busy dolling up in front of the mirror, burying himself in books, fun and games.. Is it now, too late to even regret,
I should have spent more time with my family?

One day, sooner or later, our time would end, and we face our Maker, He asked us to give an account of our lives...

Will you be ready?

If we fail an exam, we can retake.
If we fail on a level of a game, we can try again later.
If we are unhappy, we can talk to God.

But time lost, we can never gain back.

This is written by someone who had to learn the hard way, after wasting 7 years in bondage to indulging in sin, having people.closest to me passing on without knowing Christ...

Did we really weigh the cost of our decisions we made?

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